Top 10 Things NOT to say to a
Wife whose Husband is Deployed
“I guess you’re used to this by now…”
Yeah, that’d be a big fat NO.
“I wish I could get a break from My husband too.”
Well please, send him down to your nearest Military recruiter, and I’ll show him where to sign. Oh, you didn’t mean THAT type of break? Oh, okay. Shut your mouth, fool. Go spend time with your husband instead of complaining about him.
“I bet you’re enjoying all of this free time that you have.”
Free time? I have to pay a babysitter just to get a pap-smear. None of my time is free.
“Well, at least they pay him extra when he’s deployed.”
Oh, THERE’S the silver lining! Gosh, can’t believe I missed that!
“Woah! Girl, your lawn is out of control!”
Thanks for the tip. The half-a-dozen letters from the HOA didn’t really speak loud enough.
“Yeah, you should probably get that looked at by someone. I know all about it, and it’s not safe.”
–Slow blink followed by a fake smile.– Yup…probably should.
“Your kids have been acting super whiny lately.”
My kids have been acting like kids who are lonely, stressed, afraid, and missing their father. I’ve been trying to figure out how to handle it, and you’re definitely not helping any.
“I understand completely! My husband went away on a weekend conference once.”
Yeah, it’s basically the same thing.
“They should just bring all the troops home. We have no reason to be over there.”
Glad to know that the country that my husband is fighting for is filled with people who think he does nothing all day.
“So, what do you think of our president?”
Oh, you mean how he controls the weather? Cause, yeah, I’m pretty pissed about it! Seriously, can’t we just talk about football?
Activity #44: Scare Tactics!
Have you seen the show, Scare Tactics? If not, you should head over to youtube and check it out sometime. Hil-ar-i-ous! Inspired by this show, I decided to have my own Scare session the night before halloween. I sent out a couple of text messages, bought some snacks from Publix (click here for an awesome coupon blogger), and gave my prankster kids a pre-scare pep-talk. I ordered the movie, The Strangers, put on a haunted house soundtrack, and let things flow naturally. It was legendary! Idan played along so well! My sister, her fiance, and my friend Jason T. did awesome at being my “strangers”. Right at the climax of the movie, they made noises outside of the house and then entered slowly, wearing masks and suits. The girls were screaming, furniture was moving, and they were fidgeting for their cell phones. By the time I turned the lights on, one girl was in fetal position on the floor and the rest of them were basically on top of each other.
(BTW, I made sure that no one had weapons before this started. If someone ever tried to scare me the way my team and I scared them…my always-loaded shot gun would’ve made a glorious debut.)
My cutesy snacks made it look innocent enough. 😉
add the creepy window with curtains opened…
a creepy door with a scary man about to walk in…
And BOOM! Scare of the year!
Idan did so well! He screamed when I told him to, and he was completely silent when I told him to be!
He wasn’t afraid. The flash made him make this face.
My Scare Buddies and Me. Good times.
If you ever try to do anything like this, please be sure that you know the people you are about to scare. Make sure there aren’t any weapons around, because this could very easily turn into a disaster. Don’t let the scare go for more than a minute or two, and make it borderline, “Is this real or fake?” You don’t want people thinking they’re really about to get whacked. That’s sick. As soon as someone says, “I’m calling 911,” that’s probably a good time to call it quits.
Until next week, send your crazy to me, since I’m going there anyway!