Oh, the confusion…it can be so overwhelming and so depressing if we allow it to be. It’s so important to allow yourself to feel emotions as they come in, but we don’t want people to become uncomfortable because of our needs. I had a refreshing talk with a girlfriend tonight, and the simplicity of just talking through all of my mixed emotions brought about the most weight-lifting sense of clarity. It may have looked like I was a mess of tears inside of a McDonalds corner booth, but I assure you, tonight was the most free I’ve felt in a long time.
When people ask what we need, whether we need a break from our kids or not, if we need a meal cooked, or how to help through this tough time of separation, the best answer is their time. Going to the grocery store or mall alone, getting a pedicure or massage…those are all very nice things, but they aren’t our needs. Prayers are so powerful, and my girlfriend helped me to see that knowing that we are in their prayers can be so encouraging. Sitting and talking with us…not the “hey, how you doing’s,” but getting past the funny stuff, past the regular every day stress, and into the heart is what we’re missing from our spouses while they’re away.
A couple of weeks back, I mentioned how I’m missing my “flesh” so to speak, and how the pain of missing my husband is natural and normal for me to be feeling. God didn’t mean for the marriage relationship to be spent apart, but he did create the military minded man, and he created a Help Meet for the military man. Often times, I fight that common perception that we, military wives, are “so strong,” but I guess we are. I don’t feel like I am, and I don’t feel like I’m doing this right, but I guess the mere fact that we keep trucking along makes us appear super-human. Maybe we are super strong, because God created us to meet the needs of our military counter-parts, but we do have our Kryptonite. I think I can speak on behalf of all military wives when I say our weakness is night time, after the kids are in bed, and after the TV turns off (if it ever does turn off), when the lights are out (if we ever do turns the lights off), and there is no one to share stories with. We talk to God, and He is so tender and so sweet when we open up to Him during this time. He is more than enough, but that missing-him-ache is there. We’re human, and that ache reminds us so. I guess we appear to be so strong because no one is around to catch a glimpse of our Kryptonite’s affect…until we let it pour over smoothies at McDonalds. Thank you, sweet friend, for being exactly what the spouse of a deployed soldier needs.
Activity #39: She’s Baaaack…
Do you remember our good friend, Mar-eye-lean? If you have no idea what I’m talking about, then you should skip over to week 24 “The Ultimate Walk of Shame” for a refresher real quick. It won’t take long, and it’ll make more sense this week if you do. Anyway, she proved to be such a hit, and I got so many questions about her since then. Everyone wants to know what happened with Roger. Did he ever take her back? What’s up with the Fake Baby? This week, back by popular demand, I give you Mar-Eye-Lean!!!
Please leave some love in the comments section below. If you have any suggestions for future activities, please leave a comment in the suggestion box on the right. Until next week, send your crazy to me, since I’m going there anyway!