So, I went to the Fall Carnival at church, expecting to just play some games with the kids, watch them bounce around in the bounce house, and eat some BBQ chicken. We did all of those things, and the boys had such a blast, but then it happened. I was scooping up some of the coleslaw from Idan’s plate, about to shovel it into my mouth, when the lady sitting across from me said, “My husband and I have been married for 9 years, and things aren’t working out. I don’t think we’re gonna make it much longer.” She said it so nonchalantly. I wanted to just ignore her. I wanted to just get up, go to the the horseshoe game, and never let that random comment enter my mind ever again. But, no…how could I? I had to say something. I mentioned how no marriage is worth giving up on. It’s not ever a smart move to just split when it gets tough. Then she barked back, “He’s a liar and a cheater! And he thinks that I’M the one that needs to CHANGE?” I thought to myself,
‘Wow…I see your point. How could anyone be unhappy with such a sweet, tender, and kind-hearted woman?’ but instead, I said,
“Maybe he’s right. You know, most of the time, in order to live at peace with the people around you, the change has to start within your own heart. When you start searching your own heart, that’s when you’ll begin to see your marriage and all of your relationships through God’s eyes. God doesn’t want us to feel anger toward our spouses. He wants us to love them like He loves them. And to care for them like He cares for Him. It works for my marriage. It can work for yours too.” To which she responded,
“Well, I’m glad it worked for you. Have a good day!”
Why the foolishness? So many wives waste their time searching for and pointing out their husband’s flaws and weaknesses rather than building them up and encouraging them on toward becoming the best man they can possibly be. It’s like they feel like if they make them feel crappy enough, then they’ll stay trapped in their marriage because there’s no way any other woman can possibly love them for how horrible they are. Newsflash: This is not okay, Wives! LOVE your husbands. ENCOURAGE your husbands. BUILD your husbands up. There are a few exceptions (now don’t go coming up with reasons why you’re that special exception if you’re not), but for the most part, if your husband is a “monster” it’s because either he was that way when you two married or you turned him into one by belittling his every move. Look at yourself in the mirror. Are you still that same sweet, giggly, fun, and flirty woman that he first fell in love with? If you have more wrinkles in your forehead and between your eyes, from anger and frowning, than you do at the corners of your mouth, from smiling, then you need to search within yourself. Tell me I’m wrong, just like your husband is wrong. Continue to stand there, lips pierced and eyebrows squished together, mumbling under your breath about how you’re a saint, an amazing wife and/or mother, and he’s a no-good, rotten, liar, and cheater. Then look at yourself in the mirror, smooth your forehead wrinkles, and save your marriage by changing your heart, because your heart is the one that is slowly rotting away, turning your husband into an unlovable creature, and forcing the demise of your own marriage.
Activity #43: Detox Bath
So I saw this pin on pinterest the other day. It was a girl with her hair pulled back, laying in a bath of bubbles, eyes closed, and not a care in the world. Above the picture was the title “Detox Bath”. Underneath, it listed a few questions,
1) Are you extremely tired? –Oh my gosh, yeah!
2) Have you been moody? –Yes, like super moody!
3) Are you experiencing coughing or wheezing? –Yes, Yes! My asthma has been HORRIBLE lately!
4) Would you like to feel better without needing a prescription? –Absolutely, I would! I don’t have time for the doctor!
It went on to explain how a simple, at-home detox bath could solve every single one of my problems. Sign me the heck up!!! So, I only needed to buy 2 ingredients, hydrogen peroxide and ground ginger. I hauled the kids off to the corner store and spent $3 on 2 bottles of each. After reading stories, singing songs, and kissing my babies goodnight, I started the bath water. I was so excited to lay down, relax, and let the toxins slip out of my pores as I drifted off into a sudsy coma.
That DIDN’T happen!
stinkin, flippin detox bath…I HATE you, detox bath!
Guess what! my wheezing didn’t go away, I was still tired, and I went through about 50 mood swings during my entire 30 minute detox! I want my $3 and 30 minutes back, Pinterest! LIAR!!! …great…now I’m turning into one of those psycho, angry wives. I need to go moisturize my forehead wrinkles real quick.
Until next week, send your crazy to me, since I’m going there anyway!