I have been really hard on myself lately for being so bummed. I’ve been feeling like, as a Christian woman, I shouldn’t be crying so much and missing my husband as much as I have been. I kept trying to snap myself out of it every time my emotions would start to show. It got so bad that I was even ridiculing myself in my head, in private! I kept telling myself, “You have Jesus, girl! Get a grip! You should be perfectly content with Him alone!” It wasn’t until I went to the first of many future get-togethers, of some wives hanging out to study God’s Word together, that I was brought to my senses. My girlfriends pointed out that it’s perfectly okay for me to feel this way – more than that, it’s actually good and healthy for me to feel incomplete without my husband here! God created the marriage relationship to be an example of our communion with Him. There is a scripture that says,
“For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh” – Genesis 2:24
No wonder it hurts so bad! My body has been torn and separated (Obviously that’s a metaphor. My physical body is doing A-Okay, folks.) We aren’t meant to be separated for this long! Thank goodness there are only 7ish years left of this! I look at the number of weeks at the top of this post and think, “How in the heck have I made it this far without completely losing it yet?!” I’m sure you’re thinking to yourself,
“Uh…Cathi…girl, you have lost it already. Multiple times. Hello? Mar-eye-lean?”
But I assure you, that’s nothing. That was actually one of my best days! You see, the weird stuff is a coping mechanism, and a darn good one at that! I realize that I’ve been rather emotional lately, and I apologize if it’s made you at all uncomfortable, but I’m missing flesh here people, okay? Cut me some slack. You can’t say I didn’t warn you. If you do some research through the archives, you will find that I gave a firm admonition of what was to come. The coping comes through waves of sadness, madness, anger, and depression. Then, unsuspected, random bits of joy spurt up in between it all. Maybe “torn flesh” isn’t the best way to describe what I’m going through. Maybe I should refer to it as “Marital Menopause”. Yeah, that sounds about right. Excuse me while I nurse a hot flash for a moment.
Activity #37: Walking it Out
There is a lot of stress that comes along with doing the job of man & woman, husband & wife, mom & dad. There have been a multitude of moments when I about lost my cool over the load that I was carrying alone. I was getting steamed up, and God heard me shout. Just as I was about to tip and pour, He told me to dance. I’ve found that a little bit of Unk or old school boom boom rap has done the trick lately! Somehow, after I pop, lock, and drop it (and sometimes fall over), I am instantly refreshed and at peace! You should seriously try it some time! Don’t be fooled…this is not an EMO video! You had better be jamming with me by the end of this!!!
I challenge you to try this next time you feel like you’re about to flip a lid. Just stop where you are and dance. You’ll feel better, I promise!
Until next week, send your crazy to me, since I’m going there anyway!