I have some wonderful friends and even more wonderful family. They are quick to respond when I need any help at all, but I’m really craving a person who really understands all of this. When we were stationed in Texas, I couldn’t wait to get out of there! I was tired of the crowds of people and being surrounded by a sea of ACU’s every time I left the house. I couldn’t stand the traffic coming out of the park at 5 o’clock or the fact that I had to stop the car if I was on-post during the reveille. I hated that the dry-cleaners wanted to tell me how the uniform should be cleaned, but never listened to what I wanted done to it. I wanted the BDU’s completely starched and pressed for preserving, he wasn’t going to wear them that way! Duh…BDU’s were swapped for ACU’s anyway, lady, get with the program. Sorry, but that lady didn’t speak English, and she really got on my nerves. I ended up buying the stuff and doing it myself, by the way. I didn’t like going to the hospital with my baby who had 103 fever, but waiting because a soldier “hurt his knee” and needed a doctor’s note so he could skip PT in the morning. Soldiers had priority in the lines at the store and at the doctor. Because of stupid wives who do stupid things, I had to have a power of attorney in order to get anything done on post, and that’s quite frustrating. I really couldn’t wait to get back to a normal, civilian lifestyle. Now, I’m really missing true military life. I miss the game that my husband and I used to play on date night. We would sit and watch the soldiers as they’d walk into a joint. We’d try to guess their rank, whether they were officers or enlisted, and whether they were married, dating, or still hung up on that one girl that sends them hand-written letters from highschool (who totally isn’t wife material). I miss going to the gym on-post and having all of the girly equipment free, because the majority of people there were male soldiers, bulking up, still trying to catch that adrenaline rush they all miss from dodging IED’s down range. I miss watching the sun come up while sipping my steaming hot, non-fat, vanilla latte and listening to the sound of a cranky SSG shout cadence while his younger soldiers echoed in unison. I miss seeing a woman with 4 kids in tow, struggling to get her car door open and dropping everything because her phone is ringing an unfamiliar tone. It’s always the husband calling from deployment for his one-time-a week when it’s that ring tone. I miss catching her eye and sharing the excitement through a smile and nod, knowing that we both understand that exact same rush of butterflies every time the phone rings. I miss that 1SG in his uniform, in front of the running shoes at the PX that my son called Daddy. I miss how he responded and gave him a hug, because we both knew that it was better to embrace it and let him think he saw his dad than to watch his heart break by correcting him. We never spoke. Just choked back tears and smiled as he moved on to sporting equipment. I miss my group of Army wives. We used to get together twice a week at a mom and tots class and hang out afterward while the kids played. We would show up unannounced at each other’s houses, leave the kids with each other if necessary, and laugh, cry, or be angry together. I miss that so much. I miss people knowing, really, truly knowing and understanding how it all feels. I know that I can’t get that here, and I’m mad at myself for ever taking it all for granted.
Last week, I searched frantically for some help for Cole. I definitely don’t think this is a discipline or disrespect issue. Yes, he’s having problems with respect and authority, but those are just symptoms of something that’s going on in his heart. I believe that in order to see results in his behavior, we need to get to his heart and find out what’s going on inside. I saw this gif on my facebook feed the other day, “A worried mother does better research than the FBI,” and it’s so true. I sent out messages, made phone calls, googled then entire cyber world, and then finally went to my husband’s old office on post. Of course, I came armed with red velvet cheesecake. People listen to you when you bring them food. I’ve learned this. I was just going over there to catch up with everyone there and to talk to soldiers with kids who understand all of this separation anxiety. It was so nice to talk and see heads nod in complete empathy. Another thing I love and miss about being surrounded by military folks is that when something needs to be done, people don’t sit around waiting to see who makes a move, everyone stands up all at once. They don’t have a meeting and take notes about at which angle to approach the problem. They move and talk about it on the way. You hear a bunch of “I’ll go over here and do this,” “Okay, while you’re doing that, I’ll go to this person and say this,” and “Alright, since you have that covered, I’ll go over here and try this,” “Hey, if that doesn’t work I’ve got this on back-up.” There’s no time or room for any reaction, because they all swing right into action. There’s a problem, let’s fix it. I wore my non-waterproof mascara on Friday, because I didn’t want to go in there and be emotional. I had a problem, and I needed some help finding a solution. Straight military business. But, of course, the good soldiers who are parents too are parents first with a side of soldier. I talked to my soldier/mom counter-part, and she completely understood every thing I said. she even got emotional, and you could tell it was bringing back all of her feelings that she went through when dealing with the same situation with her kids. Immediately, she said, “Okay, I’ll come pick up Cole tomorrow and see what we can do.” Boom. Action.
So, Cole talked with her 12 year old son who only sees his dad a few times a year since he is stationed in Texas while his mom is stationed here. She talked to him a little bit too, and reported back to me when she dropped him back off at home. He came home in the best mood and happy to see me. It was the best hug I’ve gotten from him in weeks. Needless to say, this week has been a lot better. He’s still a bit mouthy, but at least the discipline is working.
So, my activity this week….
I decided to get Netflix a try. It comes with a free one-month trial, so I figured, why not? There are so many movies and shows on there! We pay $99/month for DTV right now, and I watch the Today Show in the morning, and a couple of cartoons during the day. Cole watches a cartoon maybe once or twice during the week and on Saturday mornings. By the time my day winds down, primetime shows are over. So, the only way that Chandler and I have ever been able to watch a series is by buying it for $50 once the season ends. Then, we wait a whole year until it comes out on DVD. And Friday nights are kid/family movie nights over here. So, we rent a movie from pay per view for $6 a week too. Netflix is only $8 a month, and if you want to rent a new release, it’s $2 at Redbox. So, I tried it out, and I LOVE IT!!! I can start and stop shows whenever I want. They have like every single episode of Thomas the Train and Sonic, and I was able to catch up on How I Met Your Mother. Not only that, but it also streams live through HD! I’m a fan. Bye-bye directv, hello Netflix!
I am also now addicted to The Office. I’ve heard so many people say that I’d love it, and they were right! I’m on season 3 now, and I am so hooked! Pam and Jim need to get together already! Aaaaaah! I have to admit though…I was kind of rooting for Roy for a while there. I mean, they were engaged, and I’m not a fan of shows or movies that have the audience rooting for infidelity. Now, I’m over him and I’m a Jim fan. Roy just destroyed the bar by throwing random stuff and breaking chairs…the guy might be crazy. But, now I like Karen for Jim…so I’m torn. ANYWAY, I tried netflix, like it, and tried the office, and I like that too. Cole is doing better thanks to some Army family stepping in, and I get to see my husband in a few days! 🙂 We’re going to see him before the deployment and be there for the deployment ceremony to say our “see-you-later’s”. I’ve got the tickets for Sea World and Six Flags printed out, and I’m ready for a family vacation! I’m so excited and I can’t wait! So, next week may be brief if I remember to post at all.
We had our 8th IHOP date this weekend! I finally ordered something that wasn’t breakfast! I had the Tuscan chicken sandwich, hold the bread…DELICIOUS!!! After Cole’s massive chow-down last time, I decided to let him order from the adult menu. I told him that if he finished it all, he could stay up til 10 o’clock. So he accepted the challenge and went to business!
By the way, he didn’t make it until 10. He passed out in the car on the way home.
Until next week, send your crazy to me since I’m going there anyway!