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3 weeks down and Flowers for a Random Stranger

My Thursday Rant in the midst of madness:

The stress level this week has been ridiculous! I’ve gone from tired, to aggravated, to upset, to angry, and now I feel just hopeless. I feel like I’m such a failure for being so stressed out. It’s only been 3 weeks, and I’ve got way too many more to go for me to be raising my white flag right now. I’ve done a deployment before, I’ve been separated from my husband for weeks at a time the whole time we’ve been stationed here! Why am I so incapable of being good at this? I’m not beating myself up about it all, I just didn’t expect to feel this way so soon. For starters, I thought we were really getting somewhere with Idan’s potty training. Last week, he didn’t have a single accident, but this week was a totally different story. He’s been pooping everywhere! Sure, it’s funny if you’re on the outside looking in, but for me it’s so frustrating. I have been sitting with him in the bathroom for about 10 minutes at a time, trying to coax him into going, but he says he doesn’t have to. Then, I go to leave the house with him and when I get to where I need to be, I find that he’s made a mess of himself. It’s not a quick change like it usually is for a baby. I have to turn around, take him home, and give him a bath. Then, get him dressed again and try to run my errands a second time. I only have 2 hours in the morning to do stuff outside of the house. That’s it. I don’t have time to do anything once Cole gets home from school, because we do homework, and pretty much from then until bed time is a war zone. It’s prime time for fighting between the two boys while I try to clean and cook dinner. The sound track to my day is literally whining, fighting, or “Mom! Idan pooped all inside of the toy box!” I miss my tag team. Usually, if one of us isn’t getting the point across with the kids, the other one steps in. Just having Chandler’s presence there to back me up keeps the boys in line. Someone tried to compare me to a single parent today. Please, please don’t ever let me catch someone calling me that again. I’m not a single parent. I’m a married parent with an extremely active husband and father who has been ripped from our home to serve our country. I’m also not the commanding authority in the house, nor do I desire to become it. I’m the wife and mom, not the dad. I don’t have to be the dad either, just because he’s not home. So, my kids shouldn’t have to fear me the way that they fear their father. I can’t find the balance because there is no balance anymore, and there won’t be until Chandler is home from the deployment. I’m not used to this, neither are my kids, and neither is my husband, and it’s stressing us out across the board. God, please give me a break and let it sustain me for another 3 weeks.

And now here’s Saturday…

God answered my prayers for a break. My husband called up his friend, and they orchestrated a whole night out for their wives. Therese and I had a lovely dinner at a Tapas restaurant in Atlanta last night, and Chandler took care of the babysitter and all! Major kudos to Nicole who spent the night since I got home after midnight (because apparently, it’s normal for so many people to go out to dinner at 10 o’clock at night in Atlanta–the place was PACKED…and delicious!), and hung out through the whole morning to help out with the kids so I could get ready for break number 2.

After my wonderful evening out for some much-needed girl time, Zach A. (a friend of ours and awesome head young life leader) came over to occupy the boys so I could just get out of the house for a couple of hours without the kids in tote. I walked around the mall without children, you guys, and it was spectacular! Now, I feel like I’m ready to take on the next 3 weeks. I guess I hit crazy stage 1 a bit earlier than I expected. Hopefully, I can recover quickly from this and be prepared for stage 2. I can do this.

Anyway, Cole told me that he had some bully issues at school, so I gave him some pointers to boost his confidence  in order to help him stand up to the bullies. I also mentioned something to his teacher. He’s dealt with bullies before, but this problem was different. He was dealing with 2 girls in the bus line every day after school. *Rasputia started slapping Cole in the face, and of course since Cole is a gentleman, he didn’t hit her back. Then, Rasputia started telling her friend *Hillary, “Slap him. He’s so stupid. He doesn’t do anything!” So they both would slap him. He said that he’d tell them to stop, but they kept on doing it. And then last Friday, Hillary punched him in the head. Here’s a video of him explaining how he finally stood up to those mean girls!

*names have been changed

Cole stands up to his bullies.

Now, onto my activity for the week!!! This week, I received a suggestion from Young Life alumnus, Morgan S! Her idea was to leave flowers on a random stranger’s car in a parking lot. So I did, and I set up a secret stakeout in order to get the random stranger’s reaction on video….also to entertain all of you 🙂 So, here it is…

Thank you, Morgan S, for your awesome idea! Anyone can give me requests or ideas at any time by clicking the “Suggestion Box” to the right on the blog, and leaving a comment. I welcome any and all suggestions!

This week, I also met with Cole every single day to have lunch with him at school. It’s been awesome! We’d sit and chat about how the day was going, and send pictures to Chandler’s email. During that time of day, he’s always able to respond quickly. So, Cole was able to get a few quips back and forth with his dad. It’s been nice to spend a little extra time with Cole outside of the house.

Monday: Chicken Noodle Soup with Whole Wheat Crackers
Tuesday: PB&J with Carrots and Oranges
Thursday: Egg and Cheese Burrito on Tomato Flat Bread with Banana Cream Dessert
Wednesday: Chicken, Cheese Roll-ups on Spinach Flat Bread, and Yogurt

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...and then sometimes they love each other
Friday: Pizza sandwich on Tomato Flat Bread with Grapes

 

 

 

Something that really grinds my gears:

People telling me that I don’t need to eat healthy because I’m thin already.

Have a COMPLETELY SANE week, everyone! Send your crazy to me, since I’m going there anyway!

Blog updates every Saturday. Suggestions for activities  and offers for free babysitting are always accepted graciously!  🙂

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2 weeks down and my son is a Dentist!

I’m finally starting to really miss my husband. I’ve cried a little bit more than usual at night, and it sucks. I think it’s a combination of being so busy, the boys fighting, and the crappy weather. Chandler usually wrestles with the boys while I cook dinner, fixes the broken toys, and does the most retarded things to make them laugh. I didn’t realize how much the little things really help out when he’s home. It wouldn’t be so bad if the weather was nice and we could play outside. So, with all the stress I finally broke down during our video chat the other night. It’s so frustrating to see him on the screen and not be able to just bury my head in his chest for a few moments to reset my mom meter. Then, there are times like today, when him just being there, not saying anything, makes everything better.

What a WEEK! We haven’t been to cub scouts in a while, because we really wanted to limit our activities outside of the home for the last couple of months that Chandler was home. So, I took the boys on Monday, and of course my first time doing it alone we’re supposed to build a car for the Pinewood Derby. I don’t know how to build a freakin car! What the heck? So, I paid Cole’s dues for the year, and they handed me a block of wood. Thankfully, one of the dads is a cabinet maker, so he knows how to do all that jazz. Cole told him what kind of car he wanted, and he cut it out of the wood for him. Chandler advised me to look up some videos on youtube about this stuff, so I did. The race was on Saturday, so naturally, I waited until Friday to paint the car. Because Tuesday, I had Campaigners (a bible study for a group of young life girls that want to dig deeper into the Word), Wednesday I took the boys to the library and the grocery store (THAT was fun!…not), and Thursday was super mega cleaning day. Speaking of which, I got a lot done! I organized all of my craft stuff, cleaned and rearranged the office (massive chore), and reorganized the pantry.

Enough about me, how about my 2 year old son being the world’s greatest dentist?! Have you seen the video yet? If not, take a look. If you have, watch it again! 2 Year Old Dentist pulls tooth out

My boys are just awesome. They drive me crazy sometimes, but I really do love their awesome and fun personalities! That video was pretty much my activity for the week…besides all of the other activities. The other ones were for the boys, this one was for me. Last time Chandler was deployed, I used to make videos of Cole all of the time to send to Chandler, and my sister-in-law and I used to make all kinds of random, crazy videos too. Hopefully, I’ll get to that weird stage again with this deployment too. I hope I do only so I can make you guys all laugh through my madness with me. So, I bought a new video editing program and tested it out with Cole’s loose tooth. I’m hoping to make lots more whenever I have those bored nights with nothing to do.

On to my current heartache…

My heart is breaking right now, because it seems the recession has hit my church hard. We aren’t losing numbers…we’re actually gaining a lot in membership, but people just aren’t able to give enough to keep the church going anymore. Our pastor broke the news to us that if a big change doesn’t happen, then Christ Community Church will be closing its doors after Easter. 🙁 Of course, most of us responded in desperation, emotion, and brainstorming for ways to keep us afloat. I was flooded with sadness, immediately. Our first experience with church here in Georgia was rough. We met a lot of opposition due to how different my husband and I are from the people in the church. Bottom line, it really didn’t feel like family, and a home-church that feels like a 2nd family is what a military family needs. We started working with Young Life, and went to Christ Community Church because of some of the leaders who also attended there. It was love at first service! The Pastor is so down to earth without being “worldly”, the congregation is made up of sinners(who admit their sin), just like me, and the setting is so laid back! When the service ends, there are kids running around everywhere, and it’s okay.  Every member loves on my kids, just like any aunt or uncle. My son leaves my side during worship to stand up front with his “Uncle Ryan” so he can see the words. There’s no sign that says “NO FOOD OR DRINK IN SANCTUARY”. In fact, people get up, refill their coffee, tea, or hot cocoa (yes, we have hot cocoa—and all these things are free) in the middle of the service, and it’s never a distraction. It feels like home, and we’re all gathering to hear stories about our Dad and how much he loves us. We hug each other, squeeze each other, cry with each other, and no one’s embarrassed or uncomfortable. I have never felt family like this in a church, and I’ve been to a lot of churches with my husband’s traveling. And, it’s not like you’re an outsider when you first join. You’re family as soon as you step in the door! It’s an amazing bond that the Holy Spirit creates right away, and I just don’t want to see that stop, because of money. If ANYONE knows ANY solution…anything we can do…anyone that wants to donate to help us keep on going, please…please help. This is a church that has non-profit ministries in the community including housing the homeless (inside of the church, preparing meals for them, and hugging them, loving them) and free tutoring for students. They’re also super involved in supporting Young Life, and they’ve embraced my children during this separation from their dad. If you’re needing a church FAMILY…one that feels like a real Home. We’re not giving up just yet. Come down, hang out with us. You may be that one extra umph that we’re missing to keep going. Christ Community Church may be that one extra umph that you’re missing out on too. I promise you…if you want family, this is the church for you. If you come and you don’t like it, I owe you lunch.

http://www.facebook.com/CCCeastmetro

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Random Mid-Week Warm & Fuzzy Mom Stuff

“The days are long, but the years are short.” – Susie Johnson

This quote was a caption from a picture a friend of ours posted last Summer. The picture was of her snuggling with her sleepy 3 year old son just 9 days before they were in a tragic car accident that took their 6 year-old’s life and left the little 3 year old paralyzed from the neck down. The family’s response to this tragedy has been heart-breaking but such an inspiration to Moms and Dads all over the country. Because of facebook, the news spread rapidly, and so many hearts were touched and changed, including my own. Susie’s biggest request to other parents is that they would never take a single moment with their children for granted. She urges us, over and over again, to hug more, love more, laugh more, and pray more. This is the exact wake-up call that moms all over the world need! How fleeting is this life, and how precious is every moment with our children!

“To all the unselfish moms out there who traded sleep for dark circles, salon haircuts for a ponytail, long baths for quick showers, late nights for early mornings, and designer bags for diaper bags.” – Susie Casper

This is one of those “re-post” statuses that a friend posted today. It immediately made me tear up. My life was my own before I had children. I did what I wanted, when I wanted to. I answered to my boss at work, and that was it. I made my money and spent it on myself and my own bills (car, insurance, phone, 1 credit card…that was it). I ate what I wanted and woke up when I wanted to. On my days off, I slept in. At night, I went out and danced until the clubs closed. I wore whatever I wanted, and didn’t care whether or not whole milk was on sale. I didn’t even buy whole milk! Life is so different nowadays. There are so many things that I traded in when I became a mom. Here’s my addition to this post:

High-heels for shape-up sneakers

 

The gym for DVD or Fit TV channel workouts (with kids jumping all over me)

Tiny red sports car for a bigger mom car

New car smell for “What is that SMELL?”

Kissing in public for Time-outs in public

Morning news for all-day cartoons

Spontaneity for a daily schedule

Daily shaving for “Wow, I should probably shave sometime soon…I should have time next Thursday.”

Grocery basket for the grocery CAR cart

Going out to dinner for Supercook.com

Privacy for “Mom! Mom! Mom!  WHAT? He hit me! No, He hit me! UGH!”

Deep Thinking for “Eeny-meeny-miny-mo”

Crazy parties for kids’ sleepovers

White clothes for …well, not so white clothes

Glass cups for plastic ones

Rated R for Rated G

Yoga for horsey rides

Going out after dark for stepping on freakin’ legos in the dark

Spending extra cash on clothes for Spending the rest of the cash on babysitters

Carefree lifestyle for worry

Splurging on that sparkly top for splurging on the brand name children’s medicines

Going out to lunch for meeting other moms at the park

Trading work shifts for Trading coupons

Wearing make-up daily for wearing a Wolverine mask…daily

Driving fast for driving carefully…and yelling at people who drive fast

Speaking my mind for taking all of my frustration out by screaming and shouting…in my head

Going for a run for taking the boys for a walk

Being adventurous for being cautious

Being afraid of losing a shift at work for being afraid of losing one of my boys at the airport

Stressing over what time the movie starts for Stressing over why my son’s bus is 30 minutes late

Acting quickly when those awesome jeans went on sale for acting quickly when a food allergy or asthma attack comes on

Watching The Bachelorette with the girls for watching The Incredibles with my boys

Praying over my future for praying over their future

Watching TV before bed for reading another story and then another one and then another one before bed

Wearing lipstick for wearing milk-mustache kisses

Loving tenderly for loving unconditionally

Crying over missing my husband for holding back tears because my son is crying over missing his dad

Holding a grudge for holding my sons.

 

As I sit here writing this during Idan’s nap time, waiting for Cole to get off the bus, I am absolutely enjoying the quiet (except for the pest control guy banging his sprayer against the outside of the house, almost ringing the doorbell, causing me to spring up out of my chair and run to the door before he woke up my littlest monster). I really do appreciate my quiet moments. I enjoyed my crazy, spontaneous, and carefree lifestyle back before I was a mom too, but I absolutely believe that I have it better than those who are busy being busy with the types of things and activities like the ones in my former life. My day is filled with purpose and meaning. My mornings are productive, and my evenings are ridiculous. I get to be a kid with my kids and a mom at the same time. I get to run around with a pair of underwear on my head, making my husband proud. I have access to unlimited, juicy, toddler kisses throughout the day, and the most useless games of hide and go seek before dinner with my 6 year old. I get to have back and forth rants with Cole about who has the stinkiest feet or has to chase down the frisbee after Idan throws it into the woods. I have the privilege of doing laundry for boys that I love and teaching them how to put their clothes away. I have the blessing of being able to share God’s Word with my boys on a daily basis, and in doing so, hearing God echoing my words from His book right back to me.  In just a few minutes, Idan will open his door, stand at the top of the stairs and say, “Mom, I waked up,” and part of me will die a little inside because my break time is over. But after I get over that (which takes about 1 deep breath and long sigh), I’ll get to scoop him up and attack him with kisses all over because every Mom knows that nap cheeks make the best kiss planters. So, if you’re a mom of crazy, wild, and occasionally rotten kids, love on them until you feel like you’re running out of love. Then, once you’re at your breaking point, love on them some more. If you’re not a mom yet, continue to enjoy your freedom. For my high school and college friends, being a teenager still has more freedom than being a mom, trust me. Your mom is shackled by worry over you that you will only understand once you have little babies of your own. If you’re a mom with kids who are grown and out of your house, you have the best of both worlds!! Uh-oh…I hear the pitter patter of little steps on my stairs! Gotta go…Gotta get these lips warmed up for some nap cheek smooching!

 

“Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs… since the payment is pure love.”
– Mildred B. Vermont

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1 week down, and the Chili Cook-off

So, I’m pretty sure that the devil hates me, which I’m totally okay with, because I hate him right back. I don’t feel this way because my week was horrible, tough, or unbearable. It actually was awesome, and he doesn’t like it when I’m happy. I feel like God used me a lot this week, and It was pretty exciting! I also discovered the amazing power of B12 in the morning, and I’ve found that green tea with lemon is a great fill-in for my old obsession with coffee (I stopped liking it after my hysterectomy…don’t know why or how, just did). I had some awesome video chats with my husband, a completely smooth and money-saving trip to the grocery store with Idan,

Idan at Publix. He got a pimp cup necklace from the quarter machine for going potty!

took control of Cole’s AR reading at school, and had the first Young Life Club of 2012. Some good friends brought dinner over and hung out with the boys and me, I had some deep talks with some awesome teens, took the boys to their biweekly Daddy’s Calendar dinner to IHOP, and competed in a Chili Cook-off. I feel so accomplished on so many levels! The greatest of these accomplishments is that God’s strength shined so brightly through my weakest moments. Oh, how grateful I am for his strength!

I did have some tough points, where 2 or 3 or 50 tears managed to find their way out. The boys are so full of energy, but it’s too stinkin’ cold outside to take them out to play. So, the cabin fever is getting the best of all of us. Cole and Idan fought so much, and I’m pretty sure I said time-out more than an FSU football coach…probably not, but it felt that way. I miss Chandler wrestling with them to help burn off their energy. Oh well. One week down, right?

Moving on, my one activity for myself this week was the Chili Cook-off.

I really wanted to take on the challenge of making a turkey chili. So many people shrug off turkey because it’s good for you, but I wanted to help turkey become the popular kid in school! If being wasted is cool, then my turkey was the coolest kid in

town, because I soaked that bad boy for almost 24 hours in a buttery bath of bubbly before mixing it into the crock pot filled with all my top-secret ingredients.

*Side note: being wasted is absolutely not cool. In fact, it makes you look trashy, smell gross, and it ruins Christmas for the starving children in Africa.

I labeled my chili “Miami-Style Turkey Chili”, and I had some homemade tangy hot sauce to go with it. All of the flavors were my favorite, and I felt like it was really good, but then I got super nervous when I got there. I was serving Latin-inspired chili with turkey to southerners. What was I thinking?! All of a sudden, I wanted to back out. I had a major transportation disaster on the way, and chili spilled all over the front seat of the car. UGH! So frustrating! The boys were so antsy, and I felt bad that they had to sit and wait while people tasted chili. The contest was held inside of a huge bike/atv shop, and they weren’t allowed to touch anything. It was a little stressful to serve the chili, feed the boys, and keep them tame at the same time, but they were pretty good at the end of the day. 

The Hooters girls, who work along-side the bike shop, are always so sweet to the boys when we see them! Even though I said they weren’t allowed to touch the 4 wheelers or bikes, the girls took them around the shop and kept them company for a while. I’m so thankful for these girls! …and the boys love them too.  😉

It got down to business so quickly! People were lining up going from contestant to contestant, having their tastes of chili. Every time someone read my “turkey chili” sign, I saw a little bit of the Confederate flag inside of them die. It seemed like they were just tasting mine to be nice and then moving on. Then, after a while, I noticed people coming back through the line and coming toward me. I thought the guys were trying to holla at me, because the cheese stain on my jeans, the chile pepper oil (yes, chile peppers make oil when you crush them enough) on my face, and the kids tugging at my apron are any southern biker man’s dream come true. I was thinking to myself,

“How am I going to let these adoring fans down easy and still win their vote?” Instead of them tossing out a “holla” line, they simply said,

“Can I have some more of your chili? I really liked that turkey one! That sauce is awesome!” I couldn’t believe it! The competitors on either side of me even tried my chili. I started to get some confidence after that. May I just say, that my own children wanted absolutely nothing to do with my turkey chili. They ate the heck out of the honey-filled corn bread muffins, but when I said,

“Do you want a bowl of mommy’s chili?” they made that horrid face, as if I had just tossed a slab of road kill onto their plates and said,

“No.” I curled up my lip right back at them and snarled out,

“Fine. Go pick someone else’s chili to eat for lunch.” I really didn’t mind though. I already felt good that people were coming back for 2nds and 3rds. I didn’t even care if I won or not at that point. I already felt vindicated for my own kitchen’s sake. At the close of the cook-off, the judges went into a back room to tally up the votes. They were about to come out of the room when 2 more people ran back to give them their votes. I was so nervous and just itching for the prize, which was a $100 gift card to the bike shop. I could do some awesome things to Chandler’s bike with that gift card! When the winners were announced, and my name was called for 1st place, I was SO EXCITED! Yes! Finally! I had proof that I can cook, and my kids can’t say that my food is gross anymore! It feels so good for a stay-at-home-mom to be approved by strangers for her cooking skills.

In addition to the gift card, I also won this apron that says, “CHILI CHAMP” which I wore all day long, even after I got home. So what if no one was there to see it. It made me feel good. It was a long 3 days of cooking for the competition, but it was a victory, and victory tastes like tangy, spicy, turkey chili chased down by a sweet corn bread muffin with a honey center. Ah, it is quite sweet, indeed.

A couple of days before Chandler left, we all had dinner at IHOP together. When he was deployed the first time, I used to go there every pay day with my sister-in-law and niece (because my brother was deployed too). So, I decided that I’d take the boys every two weeks that Chandler is gone until he comes home for good.

Cole had the Rooty Jr with cheesy eggs, Idan had a funny face pancake (totally not gluten free), and I had the cinnastack amazing pancakes!

     I created a calendar for them, and they each get to pull a number down every time we go to IHOP. That way, their countdown has even smaller numbers than mine! I counted the first IHOP as the one with Chandler, and the last will be with him too. I can’t wait until the last one. 🙂

2 dinners down, 35 dinners to go!

Awkward highlight of the week:

My neighbor came over and asked me to shave his back for him, since his wife left him and he can’t reach it. I seriously wish I was kidding. Of course, I said heck no! I told him it was gross and he needed to ask the barber. Some people……

It’s been one crazy week! I’m looking forward to a 4 day school week and spending the day with nothing to do but hang out with my boys on Monday. So, until next week, send your crazy to me since I’m going there anyway!

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And so it begins…

I haven’t made any posts in the past 2 weeks, because I got hit by sickness!! 3 TIMES!!! First, I got slapped with a gross cold, then I got smacked with Bronchitis from it, and then I got knocked down with the stinking stomach flu!!! It was horrible! I was so angry about spending the holidays, as well as my last couple of weeks with my husband, sick and gross. But, I’m over it now. This week, I didn’t do anything awesome just for myself. I just sat around in my bathrobe (Christmas present from my dear husband) and loaded up on carbs. Before Chandler left, I told people that I’d love to have donations of wine while he’s away. A half-glass and a scolding hot bath is like a sedative for me. I think I’d like to change my request to carbs. I’ll worry about getting in shape 3 months before he comes home. For now, I’d like to plump up my winter butt. So, if you’d like to stop by with chips, cookies, pasta, pizza, bread and butter, or anything starchy and loaded with unnecessary saturated fats, I’d embrace that completely!

You’re probably wondering how I’m doing (or maybe you could care less, but you’re reading this because it popped up on your iphone, and you have nothing better to do while you go through the car wash), and I’m actually doing alright. I’m a little stressed out from everything, but I’ll manage. I’m not terribly emotional just yet. Last week though…that was a different story. I was grocery shopping, and it occurred to me that I had made my list with my husband in mind. I had written down a bunch of things that I get for Chandler when they go on sale, and I had to go down my list crossing them off before I could get started. I didn’t need near as much meat, his favorite Chocolate Frosted donuts, or Orange Juice. I didn’t have to grab any marinades for Saturday grilling or Johnsonville sausage. I didn’t need to double up on the milk for my husband’s protein shakes or grab a bag of peanut M&M’s in the check out line. I had to be sure to get bacon, because Saturday was going to be our last Saturday morning breakfast for a while (big Saturday morning breakfasts are a tradition in our house), and bacon is his favorite. So right there in the bacon and sausage aisle…I had a melt down. I started to tear up, and I tried to hold it back by closing my eyes and taking slow, deep breaths, but when I opened my eyes, I saw the bacon again. I felt my face get hot and as if I had gotten the wind knocked out of me. The crying became uncontrollable, and people started to look concerned. So, I just kept walking and eventually gave up on any real shopping, because I just don’t know how to grocery shop without my husband in mind…not without a list and the proper preparation at least. Yes, I’m saving money, but my husband has to sit on a metal bench in a chow hall, surrounded by hundreds of other guys that he doesn’t know, eating food that was prepared the week before and using a plastic fork and knife that just doesn’t cut meat. I know he’s humble enough to enjoy whatever meal he has with a glad heart, but I should be the one preparing his meals! I should be there to see the look of satisfaction on his face when he has his first bite of roasted chicken and scalloped potatoes after a long day at work! I should know what he’s craving as a night time snack based on what he’s been eating all day long! I should be holding my boys’ hands who should be holding his hands around our dinner table and praying before we eat…I should, but I’m not, and I have to accept that. I think that’s where all of the frustration comes from for me and other military wives. We HAVE to accept it. There’s nothing we can do about it. That’s just the way it is. I don’t feel that same frustration today. Today, I’m just fine. These emotions will come in waves of sadness, anger, anxiety, and worry. It’s okay for me to feel these feelings. I just hope that my friends don’t try to help by trying to get my mind off of those tough emotions. I need to allow myself to feel them as I feel them and to work my way through them until God decides I’ve learned something from it and gives me the peace to make it to the next tough emotion. These feelings suck when they’re happening, but I’m so grateful that I have a husband who I love so much to have this emptiness when he is gone. The emptiness isn’t unbearable. God comes in and fills that emptiness so quickly! I’ve actually really been enjoying my alone time with Him these past few days. He’s been giving me the rest I need at night that I didn’t think I’d be able to have. I love my Creator, Comforter, Hope for Tomorrow, and Joy of Today! I’m blessed to be in the arms of Jesus at night instead of lying here alone. It’s a sweet place to be, and I’m going to lay down and talk to him a bit right now before I fall asleep. So until next week, send your crazy to me, since I’m going there anyway!